Racial issues and university

Something I’ve been wanting to talk about


The one thing about this country that bothers me is how silent the racism can be. As I’m someone of colour I’m always stuck wondering whether someone is treating me a certain way because of the colour of my skin, or when I walk into a shop why is the security guard sniffing around me like I’m ready to steal and run.

Now I’m not gonna lie when I got into university back in 2012 I was anxious because I had never heard of the univeristy or  really knew much about the town is was situated in, so I was worried it was gonna be mainly all white people which would have made me really uncomfortable not because I don’t like white people but because I always seem to end up being the only black person within a group which still kinda happened at some point, however my university was very diverse despite most of my lecturers and class being mainly white ( and male), but I really didn’t experience any sort of racism or feelings of racial tension, but  sometimes being the only black person around most of the time there were moments where I felt odd and out of place or like the token black person , especially when I would be surrounded by my football teammates and they would be listening to the lastest hip hop music and the N word would come up and someone would just say it.  Did I feel uncomfortable? Yes because I was the only black person on the team, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I mean at the end of the day they’re only singing lyrics to a song, but like I said I never experience any racial problems at my university, but many students in this country have at their universities, and  a lot of these universities ( especially those that are highly ranked and full of really  rich white kids) tend to not want to deal with this situation or push it aside or don’t understand the issue the way you think and know they should.

Now my sister goes to a pretty good ranked University that I won’t name…

…SYKE. Of course I’m gonna name it. I’m gonna write it in CAPS, because  these universities need to be exposed .

So my sister goes to DURHAM UNIVERSITY . Did you guys get that?  If not I’ll say it again. DURHAM UNIVERSITY.

So my sister is the educational type and wants to get the best out of her education, so why not go to a top university, but in her time there she has really experienced some really messed up situations and told me certain things about the way some lecturers treat some of their student of colour ( primarily black students) but along with this also is the issues of classism. Which makes  a lot of the students at her uni blind and ignorant to issues to do with racism especially when speaking to a black girl coming from a working class single parent household.

The worst part of it all is when my sister tells me there’s no point telling anyone at the uni because they probably won’t understand or do anything. Which is wrong. No student should feel like they shouldn’t  be able to talk to an authority figure at their uni and know  they won’t be listened  to or taken seriously, but because of silent racism and how it’s so hard to identify, growing up as a POC you’re subject to thinking people don’t care about you’re issues or you’re being dramatic and everyone assumes “you’re making the issue about race when it isn’t”, but people who say this are often people who will never experience racism ever in  their life time, and to experience this especially at uni where’s they says it’s the best three years of your life should never be allowed to happen.

I mean for a student experiencing this sort of stuff it must be really  hard for them when they want to do something about the issue but knowing and feeling though they don’t even  have the support from the university  they pay heaps of money to.

I mean at the end of the day my university wasn’t the greatest but at least my experience didn’t suck, at least I didn’t have to worry about people being racist to me in or outside of class, or feel any racial divides that many students at university face especially at top ranking school.

And I think if we don’t look at the university systems and politics from within this issues is only going to continue.









#GayMediaSoWhite – My problem with White LGBT representation

One thing I love about twitter is how an important issue can be raised with just a simple hashtag, and over the past few days I have seen  #gaymediasowhite and it is something I’m glad is being talked about, because it’s something I have had an issue with for some time.

Growing up I thought it was so cool when I saw LGBT representation on Tv instead of the standard hetronormative couple you see on every station you flicked through. #Yawn

it was just so nice to see that representation as it allowed me to make sense of my feelings and own sexuality (something I dont label) and seeing it I never thought it was odd or different. It just felt normal for me to see.

I think the first LGBT characters that really caught my eye were Tara and Willow, and once again it wasn’t weird to see that Willow who was with Oz was now with Tara. I just saw it as Willow just loves Tara and Tara loves Willow.  I didn’t really understand the politics of it all and what that meant to a lot of people at the time, but it was just awesome to see.

But as time has progressed and I’ve become more aware of  LGBT politics and media representations I’m actually tired with this white representation we see of the LGBT community, because  big news the LGBT community isn’t just WHITE.

So in my head  when an LGBT character is introduced two things run through my mind, oh they’re probably gonna die either at the end of this season or great another white LGBT couple or character for the millionth time. I mean don’t get me wrong love is love no matter the race but it would be nice to see more LGBT POC relationships on mainstream tv because they do exist, and isn’t some part of tv about telling the truth and reflecting reality ( well in my eyes anyway).

I am thankful for shows like  Six Feet Under, The Fosters, Greys Anatomy, Empire and Sense8 that do have LGBT POC characters that aren’t just background characters, and have stories that matter and are important.

I mean it’s crazy to think that within  a group known to be a minority that POCs are still treated like lower class citizens when it comes to any sort of representation or coverage.

And  most of the time their stories have to be so tragic to get any sort of recognition or mention, which isn’t fair as not every LGBT POC story is tragic, and often enough it’s hard to find a positive LGBT POC story in the media in comparison to SOME white LGBT  storylines. ( however not all white LGBT characters have happy positive storylines either, coff coff The 100 and most recently The Vampire Diaries)

This is why I want to be a creator. To create LGBT stories that represent POC in the right way, but also showing the media that one community isn’t iust made up of one race of people who are constantly represented the majority of the time in most media outlets.

The LGBT community is a colourful and vibrant community that is full of so many races that deserves t0 be noticed more but aren’t, and I think this all stems back to the idea of white privilege, and no matter the groups or community the white people  within those groups  will have it some what easier than its POC, however I’m not trying to say that white LGBT people have it easy at all. ( because figuring out your sexuality isn’t easy) I’m trying to say the media allows them more representation incomparison to people of colour.

this may be a ramble but it is something I needed to say.




Music Top 5: 19/03/16

So I’m a Lover of Music and I thought I’d  do a top 5 every Saturday hopefully, of songs I’m really feeling right now.

So here is goes

Number 1:Zara Larsson and MNEK -Never Forget You

Had this on repeat lately. I love MNEK voice on it and I’m loving the beat. Deffo my jam right now.


Number 2:  k.s Rhoads – Orphaned

I heard this on the trailer for a new Canadian Show called You, Me Her. It gives me the happy feels and  I’ve been loving it since.


Number 3: Zayn- Like I would

Zayn has no chill. Loving what he is doing with his music,and I love this one.


Number 4: MAX – Wrong

Sexy video, Sexy guy. Sick beat. Nuff said.


Number 5: Ruelle – War Of Hearts

I literally loving anything by Ruelle and the lyrics in this song really speak to me and it also has this epic feel to it that I love.


So that is for music I’m really feeling this week. Comment and tell me what music you’re really feeling at the moment.

Peace out.

Why I write…

Just small little thing on writing I thought I’d share.

Ever since I can remember I’ve always loved writing. As kid you go through  so many ideas of what you wan’t to be when you grow up. I mean I went from wanting to be an author, to an architect to and athlete, but some how I ended up still wanting to be a writer,but for film and television, as I realised I loved film and tv and also writing so why not combine the two.

For me writing isn’t just about expressing my creativity. It’s like a sanctuary to me. A safe place where I can forget about my worries and express my emotions and feelings through characters. As it’s something I don’t do much of in my real life.

And through my writing I always end up learning something about myself whether it be good or bad.

I write whenever I feel lost or worried or just need a distraction that turns into this great project ( that no one else will probably ever see). It’s something that calms me down and makes me feel better and at peace with myself, creating a good vibe within. Something I highly appreciate when living life.

For me even though I’m  a small time writer with no recognition at all, who is still trying to find their flow I never want to give it up. It’s something I love dearly, as it’s a huge part of the person I am today, and even if I’m not greatest  It’s always gonna be apart of me. And  hopefully someday the words I write are seen and people are moved by them, as I feel everyone deserved to be moved by a piece of writing they can connect to and find understanding in, as I have found through so many written words that have moved me.


Subscribe To My Channel….

Hey Guys just a quick thing

So I started vlogging last year, and hopefully wanna try do more. Still getting the hang of it all and trying to find my audience.

I hopefully will try and upload more and interesting content, but for now check out my latest video below, in which I talk more about The Dead Lesbian trope and Lexa’s death from The 100, something I talked about in a past  blog.

If you like what you see, It would be cool if you would  give the video a like or subscribe, or comment on your views about Lexa’s death and the dead lesbian trope.

Peace Out

In Between Us

So I am a massive lover of online content and I especially love to watch web series. I always tell myself If I don’t end up writing for Television then maybe the internet, and hopefully one day produce my own web series.

Especially living in the UK I haven’t seen my web series or watched many that have been strong especially when dealing with LGBT characters, in comparison to the great stuff Canadian’s are producing these days such as Carmilla, Teenagers and Out With Dad.

( I live for KindaTV Right and what they’re doing)

So I’m gonna do something crazy, Something I’m nervous to do, but we’ll see how it goes,and that is to upload Scripts of a 10 episode web series I’m writing ( Hopefully one day I’ll have the resources to produce it)

So the web series is called In Between Us and it follows half sister’s Morgan, Kara and their best friend AJ trying to navigate the complications of Love and Life as LGBT people.

The two major conflicts of the series comes when Morgan a commitment phobe start to have feelings for Kara’s new girlfriend Shauna. Morgan has never felt this way about any woman before, I mean her longest relationship was a month. She  tries everything in her power to avoid her feelings, but since they’re true feelings for another person it’s not so easy for her to avoid them as much as she wants to, but she has to especially since it is her sisters girlfriend and Morgan would never do anything to hurt Kara.

While AJ is dealing with the pressure his boyfriend Christoph is giving him to come out to his Mother, but things aren’t so simple when you come from a black conservative Christian family, and this creates complication for AJ and Christoph’s relationship.

So what I’m proposing to do is upload each written episode for anyone who is interested to read.

Look out for the first script  upload hopefully in a few weeks and if you’re reading this tell me what you think.

Peace Out

Lexa’s Death(What the fuck Jason)

So I didn’t know if I was gonna write anything about last weeks episode of the 100, but here we are.

So last week the commander of the grounders Lexa was killed off the show sparking fans like me to be outraged. What had fans completely annoyed about Lexa death was that she was a representation of the LGBT community and all to often LGBT character are killed off move than their hetro counter parts.

Previously the show have been praised for its treatment of race and sexuality, and how progressive the show was especially since the lead Clarke is bisexual.

What annoys me about the show runner Jason Rothenberg is how he gave fans hope for Clarke and Lexa, giving us slow burning moments that’s were acted beautifully, but all crammed into seven episodes  and when Lexa and Clarke finally have their moment together fans have been waiting for, shortly after Lexa’s killed off, and if we take out all the Clexa stuff in this episode I do think the episode was written well, but the  Clexa stuff not so much as it felt rushed but once again the actors played their parts beautifully.

I understand that tv can’t always be  perfect and some tragedy has to occur but it always seem to be LGBT characters that suffer the most,and to me this trope of the dead lesbian is becoming all so tiresome. I mean it’s so easy to make a list of lesbian characters that have died on TV.  In a time where television is so progressive you expect that this trope would come to an end, however the cycle seem to be never ending and heteronormativity is still pushed down viewers throats, and now the faith I once had in Jason is gone as  I fear that Clarke (even though bisexual ) will end up with Bellamy, which is something I said I didn’t want to see as I found their relationship to be more of a brother sister bond , but if they did get together in the future then I’d have to deal with that, but now after the treatment of Lexa and also Clarke actually who seems to lose everything and everyone, to see Clarke with Bellamy would actually disgust me (something I thought I’d never say because I don’t hate Bellarke, I just don’t see it) if anything if Clarke had to be with a man I’d rather it be another male character and not Bellamy.

Furthemore I’ve seen a lot of people compare Lexa’s death to Tara death from Buffy, and it easy to see the comparison as they were both killed by bullets meant for other people.

Even though it sucked that Tara died as a writer I live for character development and the way Willow’s character developed and tapped into her dark side I would say was rather interesting and in all honesty was my favourite plot from season 6 as it was exciting  to see Alyson Hannigan go really dark, but again an LGBT character had to suffer for this development just like Jason talks about how Lexa death had to happen to give us more background into the grounder history and the way commanders are chosen. In other words her death moved the story along (insert inverted comma’s)

To me a character death doesn’t alway need to happen to move a story along. Writers have the ability to still write tragedies without killing a character off however some writers and I say some very loosely can’t avoid characters deaths, but I think Jason could have avoided this one.

In all honesty Clarke and  Lexa’s relationship was the main thing of this season that really had me hooked. As I really wanted to see how their reunion played out especially after Lexa betrayed Ckarke in the last season, but seeing them in scenes togethers isn’t why I’m going to miss Lexa. what I’m going to miss is seeing Alycia playing the character and seeing what she brought to the show as Lexa.

Despite this lose and outrage I still will watch The 100 as the actors on the show are brilliant and hold the show together amazingly, but this whole experience has made me realise why people don’t have faith in show runners something I never had a problem with before, and yes you can’t always please fans but don’t say shit and queer bait to get people to watch your show because like I said tv has become so progressive just as fans have and they can see through the bullshit these days that show runners try to feed them.

The last thing I want to say though is roll on the next season of Fear the Walking dead aha.






You’re Not Alone: That Thing Called Depression

So its been a while since I have posted anything, and all I’m gonna say is same on me but were not here to talk about my lack of posting.

The thing I wanted to talk about is something I’ve been struggling with for quite some time and that is depression.

As humans we all go through the ups and downs of life and its okay to feel low, but sometimes that feeling can be so overwhelming it’s hard to understand all the things you’re feeling. I’ve been there and I still struggle with it.

A lot of people over look depression or don’t get the help they need because they are too scared, or think people aren’t really gonna help them properly and thats understandable as depression isn’t and easy thing to talk about.

But even people who seem okay really aren’t and that shouldn’t be overlooked,and I was lucky enough to have people in my life who cared for me , and without that support I don’t think I would be here today.

The real aim of this post really is to let people know who are struggling with depression or have hit a low for whatever reason  you are not alone.

Yes battling depression isn’t easy, but with the  right people and help around it’s the first step to overcoming it.

I send you nothing but good vibes.



I’ve had enough of America – The Virginia Shooting

I don’t even know where to start with this  horrific tragedy, and my condolences goes out to the families of Alison Parker and Adam Ward the two victims who died in the shooting.

Something about this shooting has really affected  me deeply, If I’m being really honest it has also really disturbed me. Maybe It was the fact it was live on tv for all of America to witness. Something about that is unsettling. Knowing people were sitting in their house watching the news then suddenly watching a shooting take place. Watching two lives get taken. I mean to think this is the world we live in.

It seems with America when it comes to gun crime and gun control things just seem to be getting worse, and more  and more innocent people keep losing their lives.

Right now  this incident gives me a sort of disgust towards America a country I so greatly admired, and with this tragedy it really highlight how no one is really safe in the country. Yes I understand that no one is truly safe, but as humans we have to feel that if we step outside today that some part us will be safe to a point. However when I look at America and all the craziness going on if I lived there I’d never wanna leave my house.(TRUE FACT)

And with guns which are suppose to be for protection I think to myself how many people actually use a gun for protection in America. Yes you have the odd few who do buy a gun for protection, but most get guns because they know it makes them powerful and it gives them the ability to strike fear in people or send a message.The shooter Vester Lee Flanagan did just that.

In a recent post I had read about  the shooting  Flanagan seemed to do this out of revenge due to racism and also the Charleston shooting. Reading this just made me angry because two wrongs don’t make a right, but Flanagan achieved what he wanted. He made news, and has people talking about the incident and his actions. I mean the Mad man even filmed it which says a lot with what he wanted to get out of this tragedy.

I just hope America can get their gun issues under control because something like this shouldn’t have happened. To many lives keep being lost to guns.

I love Woman

This is gonna be short, but sweet:

I had a conversation with a friend today about inspiration and people that inspire us and she made an interesting observation in which she couldn’t think of one man that inspires her, and I agreed with her. Woman just inspire me and that’s how it is and how it’s always been.

I mean maybe it’s because there aren’t many males in my life ( that was a different thing when I was a kid, most of my friends were boys. oh how things have change) but I look at every female that has walked in and out of my life and at some point they have inspired me, and I never felt like that when it came to a man, and literally if I had the chance to choose my gender I would choose to be a female no matter what, because I love being a woman and wouldn’t have it any other way.

I mean it’s not to say that I won’t meet a guy that could inspire the hell out of me, but right now I’m  for woman and about woman. Woman doing good or just being themselves makes me happy and inspires me so much.

Like  we are  living in a world where shows like Orange is the new Black is dominated by females on and off screen and for me  I get so excited by this as  it has given  me more females to be inspired by ( I’m talking about you Laverne Cox)

So to any woman out there doing their thing and being amazing I have so much love and respect for you and continue to inspire those around you especially young girls, because you’re making a different in their lives by being their inspiration